


VIXX : Through The Infinite Alternate Reality

by emotionalcello



Category: VIXX
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Romance, Self-Harm, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-01
Updated: 2017-12-04
Packaged: 2019-02-09 03:41:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12879426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emotionalcello/pseuds/emotionalcello
Summary: Ignore the fancy title, this is a VIXX short stories compilation thing.





	1. Replays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING+
> 
> This story have an act on self harm (not detailed), read on your own risk.
> 
> Taekwoon(Leo) is alone in his living room, replaying his happy memories with his lover, a memory that he can never go back to. || LeoxSungrok (that guy from Matahari).

The morning feels lonely and cold, not any different from my everyday lives. My heart is empty, it’s been like that ever since I’m alone in this dim and lonely apartment.

My eyes wont left the television screen in front of me, it’s been playing since last night. I could feel my eyes burning a bit, but I can’t bring myself to close them. It’s a video when I used to smile, when I used to have everyone, when I used to have Sungrok with me.

It was Christmas eve, we have our lovers and best friends at the dorm and we held a party. For that little moment, I am free to express my feelings for Sungrok, to kiss him whenever I want, to show him my affection, to love. Both of my smiling face and his are facing the screen.

Wonshik was holding the camera “Taekwoon Hyung, Sungrok Hyung, say something to the camera” Wonshik slurred. Me and Sungrok looked at each other, smiling widely, the widest I have ever see myself smile.

“What are we going to say?” my voice sounded louder than ever before, then followed by a giggle, I was clearly drunk.

Sungrok held my shoulder and pull me tight to his embrace “What about saying a message for ourselves 5 years from now?”

“Uwoooh” Wonshik slurred again, I wonder how he could still record this when he was almost close to dead drunk.

I giggled “You first”.

Sungrok shrug his shoulder and his dark colored eyes looking straight at the camera. I can feel the heat that radiates through his eyes, they’re looking at me.

He smiles “Sungrok, by the time you hear this I hope you already grow some guts and already got married to Taekwoon” the me in the video looked frozen and the drunken smile fades into a teary mess in a short span. I could understand why I reacted so embarrassingly, even now, my heart still jumps when he said those lines, and this is the 135th times.

“I can’t believe that he still cooks you everything when you could’ve buy your own food, you’re a spoilt man, but I know his cooking is out of this world, I hope you continue to love him always, until decades ahead.” He raises his glass of wine and sip them down his throat. What a silly man he is, MY silly smiley drunk man.

He glanced to the side and found me leaning on his shoulder with a teary face. He giggles while he gently wipes my tears.

I miss him, my eyes pouring tears the same way as the me inside the video, the only difference is that no one is here to wipe my tears. He puts kisses all over my face, kissing all the tears away and making me smile again.

My tears poured harder, I look down at the silver band on my ring finger. My hands are cold, and he’s not here to put his hands over mine. No one is here to accompany me. They’re all busy, not that I want them to come anyway, I don’t want them to see me like this.

“Sungrok” I called out, but Sungrok inside the screen won’t even bother to look at me.

Me in the video is drunk chanting “I love you Sungrok, forever and ever and ever and eeever” and I lost into a laughing fit.

I was drunk and happy. Sungrok is mimicking my laugh, as he repeated the same words. It sounds so cheesy, but I would pay at any price to go back to that moment.

The camera moves around recording the rest of the people there. Hakyeon bringing Hani. Hyuk is playing a strength game with Sungjae. Hongbin is bringing his date, she was not an idol or a public figure but we are all happy for him. Ken is yelling in the background with Sandeul.

“Wonshik-ah!!” a voice calls and Taemin came into view and crashes to the camera. The screen went black for a few seconds and it turned on again.

“Taekwoon Hyung, Sungrok Hyung, say something to the camera” and the video repeats again and again and again.

This is the only way I could see the members, the only way I can see Sungrok and me so happy, unlike now.

It’s scary how everyone that have your back turn against you when they don’t approve of your partner. Sungrok himself is hiding from the media, like how I am now. I don’t know how they caught us, it’s all spreading so fast.

I’ve been ignoring my phone all day today, I can’t bear to look at it to see the venomous words from my own family, friends, and from random people that found my number.

I am no longer in Vixx as well. The group is going downhill with me in it. They boo us, we lost a lot of fans, dropping from the charts, less fans coming to see us and the last straw was when people started to throw things at us and got us injured.

At my own request, I departed from Vixx. None of them agrees, but they eventually understand, this is the right thing to do. I terminate my contract with Jellyfish ent and spend my days in this apartment, placed in a less crowded area, watching all the videos Ravi gave me. The members didn’t know about me terminating the contract. I don’t want to make them worry, or bring me back saying it will all be ok. It won’t, and I did that because it was for the best, and I couldn’t see any point in staying either.

My lips feel cold, my whole body felt numb.

Sungrok is watching me, “Sungrok, by the time you hear this I hope you already grow some guts and already got married to Taekwoon” those words are stuck to my brain, like a mantra. I kiss the silver ring on my finger, a gift from him for our first anniversary, I treat it like my own wedding ring.

Sungrok. My vision become hazy and I look down, a pool of red on the floor surrounding me. The cut from both of my wrist that I did a few hours ago is still wet and trickling with blood for what is left on my body. The skin of my legs and arms looked pale. I have no more energy to lift my head.

I can’t see the video anymore, only voices in the distant ‘I hope you continue to love him always, until decades ahead’, not only decades Sungrok, but forever, didn’t I say it you? I might be drunk but I meant it. A single tear flows down my cheek and I could feel the cold trace it left behind.

I close my eyes for the last time, my time is here. This life of mine is finally over, I felt the weight on my back is lifted. Even though he’s not here in my last moments, hearing him say that he loves me as the last word I hear, is the best thing I could ask for.

Sungrok, I’ll see you in another place, in another time. Until that moment, I will wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What chu think about the first chapter??? Comments and critics will be appreciatedddd


	2. Dream, or not a Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hakyeon(N) is gay, Taekwoon kinda like him. Taekwoon didn't know what to do but kept his feelings to himself. All it took to lose his control, is Cha Hakyeon signature annoying chatter.

His name is Cha hakyeon, a proud individual, loud, annoying, and love to shove himself into anyone's life when he's not invited. Cha Hakyeon doesn't care if you diss him, he will diss you back, or even just laugh it off because he didn’t believe any of the bull people say. He believes that he is awesome 24/7, and that’s the only thing that matters. He was naggy like a mother, and like a mother, he cares for his underlings like they're his own children, including me. When I'm relaxing, eating, listening to music, he comes to the scene and annoy me.

And I love that about him.

When we became Vixx, right after our debut and we're celebrating, he stood up on his feet for what I thought to do a cheer, but with a serious face that we've never seen before he confessed, that he’s gay and he doesn't want to hide it to us. I still remember back then, Hyuk and Wonshik looked at each other in confusion, not knowing what to do with that information. Jaehwan shouted the loudest and longest "EEEEEH????" that I ever hear a human do. Hongbin just went along and shrug, as so did I.

As time goes by, we are all were supportive towards Hakyeon. He’s free enough to confess to us some of his crushes, and we would tease him like how we tease each other when we have crushes, but not me.

I don't know since when did I have this feeling towards him, he was my best friend ever since I remember. A best friend that sees through me when I say nothing. His positive-ness infected me and he pulled me into a world of sunshine where everything is bright and filled with friends. It still amazes me how much he affects me, and I'm indebted to him for that.

Realizing my feelings, I begun to feel jealous, feeling like maybe he's better to have someone other than me, that if we have a relationship it wouldn't go well. Relationship? I didn’t know how my mind could venture to that idea, I was baffled myself. Yet, there is something else that's overcoming those emotion, my desire, and a feeling of affection, somewhere, and it was unwanted. Despite all that, I acted cold towards him. He would take none of my actions seriously and still love to butt into my space, which he was more than welcome to, but things like this is not good for my health. I enjoy teasing him, and watch his face playfully turn sour. He always able to entertain me and cheer me up even in my lowest, I don't know how he do it, but it grows on me whether I like it or not.

Today, I have no schedule, only Hakyeon and I are left on the studio to practice while our managers accompany the members to their own event. I'm in the composing room, and Hakyeon is outside this room at the wider area with the mirrors, dancing.

Later that day, my door opened by no one other than Hakyeon, he walked into this tight space like his own home, well, this studio is practically our home. He looked like he didn't bother anyone with sweats running through his face to neck with his t-shirt clinging to his body, I kept my eyes to the monitor listening to the still messy beats. He always does this, after he practice he comes to Ravi or me to cool off because only composing studio have air conditioner. When he enters my room, I don't know whether to feel happy, or devastated. He didn’t even bother to close the door.

"Taekwoonie, talk to me for a while" He sounded like a spoilt child. I hate this, we're alone, he's sweaty, and he's talking like that, I want to pamper him.

He walked towards me and put his arms around my shoulder and pushed my head to his chest "Is there anything I could help with? Record the sample of the tone? I could sing parts you want" I didn't reply him, but the more I ignore him, the more he talks. I couldn't focus at all. His inviting lips moving, the smell of his sweat, his skin on my neck, and in the studio, all by ourselves. Just right then and there my patience runs off.

I stood up from the chair, and caught his lips with mine. I grab the back of his head and pulled him onto me so he won’t go anywhere. I didn’t know why I need to do that when he didn't show any action of resisting. His arms that still linked to my neck are tighten. I moved my lips to taste his bottom lip, and it was just like I had imagined, soft, and the best of all, it's his. I kissed Cha Hakyeon. Wait… I am KISSING Cha Hakyeon right now. I pushed myself away from him, his eyes looked at me with an expression that I couldn't understand and it made me nervous.

"You talked too much" I blurt out before landing my butt to the seat again. He still froze beside me while my fingers fidget nervously at the keyboard.

"Taekwoon" He called, but I keep playing the track and adding mixed instruments which didn't match at all.

"Taekwoon" He called again, more demanding like he's serious, the more reason to ignore him.

"Jung Taekwoon!" He raised his voice and he spun my chair to face him. Before I could look up, his face already pressed against mine. His knees are on the sides oh my chair, and his lips devouring mine.

It take less than a second for me to grab hold of his waist and moved my lips rhythmically. His hips are now sitting right on top of my lap and our chest touching. We didn't leave any space between us, not even air. Our lips moving slowly, taking turns in dominating each other. Not long after, he moved his tongue passed my lips, exploring my whole mouth greedily. Just like it was on cue, he was tamer when I tried to explore his.

I don't know how long we stayed like that kissing, but there was no urge to stop. His warm body pressed against mine, I want to feel it forever and never let go.

A sound of the door of the studio could be heard through the open door, and we could hear someone coming into the building. We stopped instantly, and slowly, our bodies moved further away. Hakyeon smiled cheekily, before getting up from my lap and disappeared behind the wall, exiting the room.

"Yo, N-hyung" Hongbin's voice sounded far.

"Ommoo Binnie, you worked hard" Hakyeon cheerful voice greet him.

I sat there, dumbfounded, shocked, and most of all, happy. What does it mean? Everything felt like a dream, it's almost unreal. He just came here looking like a temptation, we kissed, and he left. Was it really just my imagination?

"Taekwoonie~~ hongbin's here to pick us up, we have to pick up the rest of our kids" Hakyeon popped in to the frame of the door. It took me a while to move and stare at Hakyeon's usual unchanging face. So it WAS my imagination, I have to stop daydreaming about things like this.

I saved my project and turned off the computer. I was about to follow him out, but he came into the room again and gave me a slight peck on the lips, then showing his cheeky smile once again. He cupped my cheek, and then just turn around with his arms around my back. He leads me out and meet Hongbin who's waiting for us. Hakyeon talked to him normally, and when we got to the car everything is still normal.

I don't know what happens next, or even what we are anymore. What's Hakyeon feelings towards me 'exactly', or if we're still friends, but what's important, is that I kissed Cha Hakyeon, and it's not a dream.


	3. Piercings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonshik(Ravi) got a piercing on his tongue, but his fans didn't like it so he took it off. His fans matter more than his own freedom, but Taekwoon thinks otherwise.  
> Inspired by the rumor of Ravi having a tongue piercing
> 
> https://i.pinimg.com/736x/12/5f/7c/125f7c0f1ef27523b52a4916c0f9c7d4--vixx-pop.jpg
> 
> hope the link works........
> 
> Wontaek pairing

Wonshik's POV

I feel tired today. Nothing seems to feel right. I lay my back to the hard and worn out cushion of my chair. My eyes wondered at the waves that spread through the screen of my computer. I’m satisfied with the beats, the following instrument is perfect to what I want, but the lyrics, the words just didn't come to me.

Lately I felt like there is something weighing me down. It’s not like something surprising, there are always things weighing me down, but somehow, I can’t get up from this one.

A knock on my door sounded soft, I was too tired to see who it is and just let them in.

“Hey” the soft voice only belongs to one person, Taekwoon.

I glanced a little to see him, he’s dragging a chair from his compositing room which is next door. His hair is reddish from the latest comeback, and he wears the same old grey hoodie he loves so much. He has that hoodie since pre-debut days.

He takes his chair as close to me as possible and he sat on his chair while leaning his head on my shoulder. Without a second to waste, I lean my heavy head on top of his as well. We didn’t say anything, just staying there while leaning on each other. We both stare at the shining screen that shows the composition for the next single.

“Are you stuck?” I asked without moving my head, and Taekwoon nods slightly. We both sigh at the same time. He opens his arms on my lap, and I clasp it with mine. His hands tighten and we stay another minute holding hands while not saying anything again.

His head is nodding off and he’s about to fall from my shoulder. I rub his head with my other hand. “If you’re tired, go to bed” He didn’t reply me, and he stays anyway.

He cocked his head up, eyes meeting mine without moving his head from my shoulder “There is something bothering you again, tell me” in his soft and quiet voice he demanded.

He lays his cheek to my shoulder and his plump flesh is smushed there. I can’t say no to that. How can this hyung be this cute? I know he did this on purpose, he knows how I love his cheeks and him acting cute.

“I… am I disgusting?” The words came out of my mouth without me filtering it, but I know Taekwoon know what I meant. He spun me around and he lays on my chest. His hands wondering to my face and cups it with both of his paws. “No” he stated in flat tone, like it was the most obvious answer, and made me feel like an idiot for asking. And I do feel like an idiot.

His fingers travel to my nose and he pinch the bridge of my nose with his fingers and yank it left to right.

“Ow!” I exclaimed, but that didn’t stop him. He goes another swing and then finally let my throbbing nose go. I hold my nose and make a sulky face. He shakes his head and sighs.

He pats my cheek “Did you wear it today?” He asked. I open my mouth and stuck out my tongue so he can see the shining beads that pierced to my tongue. I got it because I love the feel of it, it’s not that I want to show it or anything. What’s so wrong in accessorizing my own body?

Taekwoon linked his long and slender finger behind my neck and pulled me towards him “Let me feel it” he whispers. Those words that escaped with his faint breath on my face and alluring tone made my heart skipped.

I didn’t pause a second to land my lips on his. He opens his mouth to let me in, and our tongue rubbing slowly while we pull each other closer.

The reason we can be this care free is because everyone is asleep, and our manager took a leave tonight. The members already knew, but we wouldn’t want to get caught making out. It’s hard to slip off from them when they’re always so clingy, but sometimes an opportunity like this falls to our lap, and we always take it.

He links his hands at the back of my neck, and my hand slips under his shirt. His tongue is tasting my piercing and he caught it with his lips from time to time, he loves it a lot.

“Did you really like it?” I asked, and he nods like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

I can’t help but smile at that “Where else do you want to feel it?” Taekwoon smiled shyly at that, but I know his mind is wondering about the things he wants to do with me tonight.

He approaches closer and he whispers right beside my ears “Wherever you want”. He kisses my ears and travel down my neck. I shiver at his touch, that’s foul play. I began with feeling up his bare skin and taste his neck, making sure that he felt my bead. He clenches the back of my head tighter as I begin to bite here and there while licking his skin. He goes up to my lap and hug me close while I yank his clothes to the side so I can have his shoulder.

My hands travel down to his ass and pull them closer to me while my tongue taste his adam’s apple. He arches his back and let out a small moan while he clenches the front of my jacket “Wonshik”, dammit my pants feel tight.

“Where do you want to do it?” His eyes glance down to mine. He looks away, thinking, and finally say “Here”.

“In this room? In this chair?” I asked almost in disbelieve, but he only smirks and nods.

Heh, I guess doing it here is fine, its sound proof, and we can be as loud as we want. Taekwoon already beginning to unzip my jacket, he won’t take no for an answer.

He pulls my shirt up, and reveal another tattoo I did on my hip and abdomen, no one besides our company, managers and the members know about it.

“You’re beautiful Wonshik” Taekwoon whispers while he earnestly gazes on me and it took me by surprise.

“No matter what you decide to do on your body, you’ll look beautiful anyway, and we will support you” he caressed my face. His words sink into me and my heart begun to pace quicker and my eyes feels hot. He smiles and kisses my temple in a light peck.

He cups both side of my face and bore his eyes into mine into a serious gaze “Don’t let the people that barely knows you brings you down, they know nothing, do you understand?” I gulp and nod away. My heart still feels flowery and beating fast because of his words. What was I so worried about anyway.

Taekwoon smiles, curling up his cute small little lips. His fingers poking to the corner of my lips. He whispered, “Now, where were we?”. I chuckled at the man. Even after that heartfelt moment, he still didn’t forget to get what he wanted first.

A smile escaped my lips as I held his torso tight “I love you Taekwoon”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> deep down i kinda wish he didn't have to remove it.... but then again.... the existence is kinda shaky


	4. Outgrown Pt.1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taekwoon is in a denial about his feelings for Hyuk. He never planned to confess, he didn't have to, since the little gullible boy has grown into a man that's not so gullible anymore.
> 
> Luck Pairing

Taekwoon’s POV

 

I can’t sleep, probably I really went too much with coffee today. I just thought that if 1 more cup can make me stay awake just a ‘little’ longer. I placed my hips on the kitchen counter as I waited for the coffee maker to brew. Hyuk gave me that coffee maker, it was a present after he launched his first movie. I was greatly proud of him, the little Hyuk that has overgrown all of us, but I won’t say OR express that, just because.

Yes, I am making another coffee when I can’t sleep. I’m adding milk into it so I can sleep. I’m not fond of only milk, I just love coffee, and I’m craving coffee now. Nothing, not even my insomnia can hold me back from drinking more coffee.

“Hyung?” I snap my head back and see a figure with black pajamas and bright red hair in the dark corner calling me. Is that a ghost? Do ghosts have red hair? And why does this ghost have a familiar voice?

“Who’re you?” I called, not really curious since it’s just me imagining it and it’ll disappear anyway... wait is that Wonshik?

“Wonshik? I thought you’re still in China for your solo, when did you get back?” I pulled out the black figure from the dark corner and as soon as the light hits his face, Wonshik flinch. This kid is still asleep.

“Few hours go…. Slept right after…” the kid is sleepwalking, which he usually does when he’s restless in his sleep. I lead him back to his room with Jaehwan, he’s asleep as well. Jaehwan moved and opened his eyes when I enter the room.

“Hyung? what’s wrong with my Wonshik” He stretched and got up with closed eyes.

“He’s sleepwalking, take care of your boyfriend Jaehwan.” I scolded him, kinda, but since they’re dating, I expected they’ll be on each other 24/7, but it’s just the same as always.

“Yeayea put’im here” Jaehwan patted the mattress beside him. I almost slam Wonshik there, and I kinda did, though even from that, Wonshik didn’t wake up.

As I walk out from their room and close the door behind me, I saw a glance of Jaehwan tucking Wonshik in and kissed him on the lips. I smiled at the view. They have been in love since our trainee days, now they finally declare themselves dating. I know the path for them as a couple is not easy, but all of us including me, are with them no matter what.

I can’t say I’m not jealous of them, they seem to be over the moon at the sight of each other, who wouldn’t want that. I do have someone like that, but I am not as brave as them. I don’t think the other party knew about my feelings and I don’t intend on telling him. One couple in the group is enough I guess, and I just have to focus on work.

The coffee is done, and I’m about to get milk from the fridge, but there is no milk left. I sighed in disappointment, why out of all day did it have to run out of milk today, well it’s pretty much runs out of everything. Everyone has been too busy to shop these days, I guess I’ll have to go tomorrow, since I have no schedule tomorrow.

I hear the door of the apartment open. Who could it be? Was there someone else on schedule today? I don’t really know who’s here right now, it could be anyone. I walk to the front door, it’s Hyuk and manager Kkomae.

“I’ll head to bed” Kkomae staggers to his room, “Good work today” Hyuk nods, but Kkomae already passed out, probably because he drives.

“Good work today” I said, and Hyuk snap his head at me with a little jump.

“Hyung you scared me” he sighed. I just noticed the grocery plastic bags on his feet, I rushed to it and search around the bag. Ah, milk, he bought it, that’s good. I took off and hurry to put the milk on my coffee before it got too cold.

“Wah this hyung, taking what you need and left, at least help me” I’m the hyung I don’t need to do that, haha. I do feel grateful for the milk, and him doing the groceries.

Hyuk joined me on the kitchen with two big bags on each of his hands, the kid has grown big enough to lift them with ease. After taking a sip of my coffee, I went over him and gave his over grown back with a light pat “Thanks for doing the shopping”.

I went through the bags and started to sort it out. He bought everything we needed. Vegetables, some meat, a few snacks, N’s fav brand of banana milk, and a coffee bean that I liked these days, it’s pretty rare, and I’m surprised that he bought it.

“Where did you get this?” I asked him, his eyes poked over his shoulder as he went to his room. “It was near the location of the shoot, and I remembered you liked it.” Ahh, he remembers, I see, he’s pretty caring now isn’t he? I sighed.

I sorted the groceries on their places, I don’t know what to do now after I finish my coffee, then maybe try to sleep. It was my plan until I saw Hyuk came out of his room with comfortable training outfits.

“Not sleeping?” I asked, and Hyuk shook his head as he went to the fridge “I slept all the way here.”, I see, since I can’t sleep either…

“Wanna eat?” I offered since I’m also a bit hungry, wait did I eat dinner today? I forgot.

“I could make some ramyun.”, his eyes light up and smiled, why would he be that happy over a simple ramyun that I’ve made hundreds of times?

“Yes pleaaasse, I want the egg-”

“Half done, yes I know” I finished my coffee, and put the glass with the other dirty dishes. Ah, the dirty dishes are piling up, my face twitched at the sight of it. I was never a fan of something too untidy, I usually clean it up right away, but I have to make ramyun for Hyuk first.

As I get the pot and ramyun ready, I hear running water behind me. It’s Hyuk, by the dishwasher, cleaning the dishes. He’s grown to be so much mature… for now…

He shows his playful face when we go out and have fun and in front of the media. It was the real him too, but at the same time, he begun to help us carry more responsibilities, help with our mental support, and act as a shoulder to lean on. Being more dependable as time goes by, and I’m incredibly proud of that.

I watch how the timid scrawny kid that flinch at the sight of me grow stronger, mature, and now able to face and throw me around. I felt a bit embarrassed how he can speak up towards me, but it made me even more proud that he grows with guts.

I don’t get why I’m over praising him in my heart, that’s why I never really say too much about it. If I have to say it to myself, then I’d say what I felt is merely how a parent would, nothing more, that’s how it should be.

The ramyun is done, I put a few slices of ham and chopped scallions, since he loves those. Hyuk is now on the couch, napping with his phone still in hand. I thought he couldn’t sleep earlier but now look at him.

I went over the big lump of body and crouch at the floor beside him for a while. I don’t get why I’m pausing, but it felt it’ll be a waste to wake him up now. The pushy rowdy guy is finally asleep and calm, I took this chance to really see him.

His face now has hard edges and shaped beautifully. His blond hair pushed back showing his tidy hairlines. His body is wide and long, just like a fully mature man, to pair with that, a cute button nose that if he smiled will make his manly face into a cute boy again. I sighed again unconsciously, I have to stop suddenly sighing out of nowhere.

I shook his shoulder, “The ramyun is ready”, his eyes suddenly opens, and his body jerks up and walk to the table right away “Yaaaay, I’m starving”. He went ahead and begin to eat by himself. This brat didn’t even say thanks.

He slurped his food after giving 2 blows, “Waaah delicious, your ramyun’s the best” and he continue to stuff himself. I felt happy, I mean if you’re complimented of course you’ll be happy. I really can’t stay mad at this brat.

I sat across of him after trying to keep my smile under my poker face. We ate in silence for a few second, a few blissful seconds until he opened his food filled mouth.

“It’s rare when it’s just the two of us, isn’t it?”

Now that I think about it, yeah, he’s right. Now we’re alone, in the middle on the night with ramyun. I don’t know how to react to that.

“Yeah, since everyone usually stick around a lot” I shrugged, “How’s the movie? When’s the last shooting?” I started the conversation, not because I care or anything, I’m just curious.

“If things go well, 31st July.” He said quickly before shoving more noodles with ham. Is this kid that hungry or something? We used to let him eat all he wants because he’s still growing, but now, he still kept eating all he wanted. Well, as long as he kept his body in shape.

“At the premiere, they said I can only bring one of Vixx members and one manager since it’s not enough seat.” I nod at him, “I see, we’ll see who’s available that date.” He nods, but didn’t look me in the eye, maybe he’s just tired.

This kid…. No, he’s grown up now. Working till this late, getting a lead role for a movie. He could’ve stayed at the hotel till morning but here he is, always come home as soon as he can. Whenever he went home late like this, I used to ask why didn’t he just stayed at the hotel till the next day, he said ‘I’m more comfortable at home’. Isn’t that sweet? Calling our dorm ‘home’, and because of him, I started to call this place home as well.

“Why are you smiling suddenly? Wah, have you gone crazy?” He mocked, I playfully raise my chopstick to stab him, and he playfully challenged me and buffed his chest. I can’t help but laugh at his childish side in that big body and I chopped his head with my hand instead.

“I just thought at what a fine man you’ve grown to be, I’m proud.” It slipped my tongue, and I ducked my head down in embarrassment. Why on earth did I just say that out loud? I want to crawl into a hole. I ducked my head even deeper until my nose almost touched the broth of ramyun.

“Waaah, I’m touched” Hyuk chuckled, then it faded with an unconfident tone. I look up and see Hyuk stopped, he didn’t move, his face looked serious as he stare the bowl in his hands intently. He inhaled deeply and smiled at me. A soft and honest smile, from the devil that I thought could only smirks “Thank you”.

His expression is soft and fragile, for someone like Hyuk to be making that kind of face, is bizarre. I felt guilty all of the sudden, what was that just now? Has he been feeling misunderstood all this time?

“Hyoggie, we don’t say this often, but we are proud of you, always, you’re our little precious maknae and-”

“I know that!” he raised his voice just a little bit, but not loud enough till it’ll wake anyone, his eyes won’t meet mine.

“Then why the teary face?” Hyuk paused and didn’t reply to me till we both finished the food.

He stood up quietly as he picked up his bowl and mine to the dish washer along with the pot. He did it in one quick move that I didn’t know how to react.

“Hyuk I’m curious tell me what bothering you” I yank his shirt in all direction before he could run off to his room.

He whipped his face back to me, and he sulked, “I was just too happy, that you finally see me as a man”.

My heart thumped loud, no, it probably wasn’t like I’m thinking, but my heart already took it too seriously.

“I was very happy, that I’m no longer a kid to you, but then you go on treating me back like child” I stagger back, what is he saying? what does he mean?

At the back of my mind, I already know that it was the most obvious thing ever, but I refuse to acknowledge it.

“I like you!” He raised his voice, my body stiffen in place with lips parted open.

The things I’ve been chanting in my heart, the words I’ve been swallowing down my throat, he said them so easily. Even now, I couldn’t say anything. It feels like he already took the words right from my mouth.

“And I know you like me too” His eyes look up to meet mine in the most intense gaze I’ve ever seen. It felt like I’ve been cornered. I did not expect that, didn’t my face is always a poker face? How did he knew?

“I wanted to confess, since it was mutual, but I know that back then I was just a brat that couldn’t do anything, I worked hard to be a man that could stood beside you. I don’t know when is the right time, whether I’m enough yet, or if I’m ‘adult’ enough because I’m clueless. I don’t know what to do but to tease you, all the excuse to touch you. Now you finally said it to me, I-” He was flustered, with red growing in his ears to his cheeks, even in that dim room I could see it clearly.

Ah, all this time, he worked hard for my sake? Heat crawling on my cheeks, I feel incredibly happy. He’s been thinking about me, all those years, as I did nothing, he tried to reach for me. Finally, he’s caught up to me when I didn’t realize it.

“Ahaha…” I can’t help but chuckle in happiness, I can’t believe I’m the older one, but he’s the one that read the whole situation since a long time ago. His eyes glare and flustered after hearing me giggle. Ah, he might think I’m mocking him, silly boy.

“You’ve outgrown me, out strength me, sometimes out mature me, and now, I can’t believe that you outbrave me too” I pat his soft blond hair. I felt nervous, flustered, my body felt tense that it’s hard to move an inch.

I held both of his hands with mine, trying to look him in the eye, and found his with the same strong stare. I can’t help to feel flustered, he’s determined, how can he be this mature already?

“You’ve grown so well” My face moves carefully, approaching closer to his. “Well, YOU raised me well” he stated plainly with a smile, the words that hit critically. I’m lost to this boy, no, to this man.

My hands tighten around his, I can’t believe this is happening right now. I can’t believe as well at what I’m about to do, but I have to, I’m his hyung, at least I have to make the first step at something.

“Sanghyuk, I like you too” My face looks up to his, and slowly, place my lips on top of his.

The pair of lips that I’ve stared upon in guilt, the lips that called my name, the one that made silly duck face, his lips, is on mine. The fact that I am now looking up and he slightly slouch his back just to meet my lips is an embarrassment for me. I just never thought the difference of our body was this much.

His hand let mine go, and wrapped his arms around my torso. Naturally, my hands hold on to his back as our lips moved slowly, carefully tasting each other. He embraced me closer, and it feels like his body has swallowed mine, how big can this kid grow?

He slowly stepped forward and my back was pressed against the wall.  I felt his tongue licking my bottom lip before he began to suck it lightly. He didn’t ask for it, but I parted my lips because I want him. He didn’t hesitate to slip his tongue between my teeth.

His tongue filling my mouth as it moves around curiously. My mouth felt full, the deeper he moves in, the wider my mouth opened and it felt…lewd. Our tongue rubs together in harmony, feeling each other in more detail.

My heart is about to burst out of my ribcage, it’s beating so hard it feels scary, or is it his? My chest is pressed against his, and I could feel his heart pumping just as hard as mine. I felt amused, he’s still a kid after all, and I think, so am I.

More, I want more of him. Closer, I want to embrace, or be embraced, it doesn’t matter as long as it’s him. My hands slipped under his clothes and I could feel his lean muscles carved softly and beautifully. His hands moving lower to my hips, and even lower. His hands on my body felt so good, touching his body felt really good, kissing him finally, my whole senses are on fire, and I’m hooked at the heat.

“Sanghyuk, you make me feel good” I moaned, it wasn’t supposed to come out as a moan. I feel blood rushed to my crotch. I instinctively grind on him and feel him stiffen.

His lips stopped, his whole body tensed. He grabs my shoulder and push me away. Eyes widen, short breath, he looks at me in such a shock I feel dumbfounded. Did I read things wrong? He didn’t want this?

“I don’t want to start something I can’t stop…” He exhaled, “On one of these days, appropriately, when it’s just the two of us, we can… we can do whatever we want”. His face blushed as he nailed his eyes to the floor. He’s nervous, the hands on my arms trembled, and he’s hard too, I bet he noticed that too, that’s why he’s embarrassed.

I chuckled at him as he sulked. I tucked his head on the curve on my neck, slowly petting his head “Okay, we’ll take this slow, no need to rush”. I kissed the top of his head.

Hyuk held my hand and return his eyes to me “The premiere, I want you to go with me, and after that, will you go on a date with me?” His eyes looked determined and calm. Where was the cute blushing boy a few seconds ago? Again, my heart is being swung around by him.

Ah, but I felt happy, so incredibly, disgustingly over the moon.

“Yes, I would”.

 

++++++

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AYYYYYY so how is that?? this is my first Luck pairing ever, I hope I wrote it well~~ i already published this over to wattpad, but i edit it again when i publish it here~~ Let me know what you think~~ Part 2 will have a mention of digcks, but theres no penetration sorryyy lolll~~~


	5. Outgrown Pt.2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyuk and Taekwoon is finally on that date, together they unravel their feelings towards each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note : This Chapter cointains explicit sexual scenes.

Taekwoon's POV

 

Hyuk was like another person at the big screen. His acting has improved, well, it’s his third movie after all. Our hands were side by side as the tip of our fingers touched each other, even though it’s just like this, it’s already hard to concentrate on the movie. I want to get my hands on him, just holding hands, anything, but we can’t be too careful, so we held back.

Just like he promised, we went on a date after the premiere, we drive kkomae back to the dorm and we took off after that. It was after midnight and the streets are still busy, though not as busy as the evenings. So, the closest we can get to a date is order junk food at the 24-hour fast food drive through in order to have a peaceful time for ourself. Still in our suits, and make up.

We park the car at a parking lot at a higher cliff. It was a place for sight viewing, where we can see the city from above. The view are like little abundant stars, shining in that deep dark night. There was no other people around, and we both eat our burgers while we lean onto the metal barrier just right at the cliff.

“So, how’s the movie?” Hyuk started the conversation, “I like action, it’s a good action movie, you got pretty good at acting” I said honestly and he just nod “Thanks”. We both know that there are still more to come, that we need to improve more. We all tried not to compliment each other too hard, except for Hakyeon, we can’t really do anything if it’s Hakyeon.

“How did you know that I liked you?” I asked, after swallowing my nervousness.

“Took me a while, but after I have enough strength and courage to fight the hyungs back, I began to notice, that your eyes towards me began to change”

He finished his burger and went for his lemon tea “As I tried to figure it out, I begun to watch you more, and paying a really close attention to your every little movement, and before I knew it, I already fall in too deep”. He didn’t even flinch in his confession, he seems pretty calm, how did he do that? and I can’t believe I’m that obvious.

“What about you? Why do you like me? I thought you used to see me as a brat” He asked bluntly. I think back at the first time I probably fell for him.

“I know I used to call you brat back then, but even so, I already gave you my full attention, since you’re the cute maknae. Time pass by so quickly and when you got your first movie script, I think back to when you’re first join jelpi, and I thought…” My mind wondered back to his face when he announced that he’ll be working on a movie, his first solo cover, his first solo stage. I remembered back at all the accomplishment he had, and it brings a smile on my face.

I look to the side of my shoulder, meeting his curious eyes “…I thought, ah, you’ve worked hard, you’ve climbed yourself up. Just watching you grow, and fight, I admire that of you.”

Hyuk throw away his face, and sulk, what is it now? “What was that? Maybe you didn’t like me like I like you, maybe what you have is just admiration, and some parental love, or something…” and he sulk back, it’s not a cute sulk either, he was ‘seriously’ sulking and upset.

I chuckled at him “Parental love won’t make me do what we did that night, what kind of parent am I to feel up my own child” I scoffed. I sip my own cup of lemon tea, as I saw Hyuk flustered in that dim night. “I love you because you’ve grown into a good man, someone easy going but can be serious, you’re fun, and most of all, you’re a hard worker, and tons more reason why I fell in love with you.”

His eyes look down to me, red tint spreading on his cheeks, his face hiding a sheer joy, “Did you just say that you love me?”. My heart stopped for a split second there, wait, did I? I did, I’m such an idiot, an embarrassing idiot.

His eyes didn’t tear away from mine, despite both of us feeling incredibly stupid and embarrassed. We didn’t do anything but look at each other’s cringing face.

The look on his face shifted, and I know that look from him anytime of the day “You can’t kiss me here, we’re out in the public” I warned him, though there’s no one around, we can’t be too careful.

“I know, let’s get back to the car, it’s getting cold”. He went ahead of me first, missing the smirk formed in my lips, cold is such a lame excuse.

The moment we closed the car door behind us, our lips connected almost right away. The position was a bit hard, so I climbed on top of him at the passenger seat. He fits right between my legs, I could feel him entirely this way. It felt so free, thank heavens for the black tinted windows.

Our movements are heated, grinding teeth, smashing lips and tongue wrestling each other, now that we’re alone, everything that should and should not are let go in the open. Our bodies rubbed together, but the suits are annoyingly in the way. Though he looked so good in it, but without it, he’ll looked so much better.

Without letting go of his lips, I took off my suit and undo my tie as I grind myself on his crotch and feel something poking me there. He moved his lips away from me “Wait, here?”, I shushed him as my hands begun to undo his tie and his unbutton his dress shirt.

“I am not waiting any longer than I shouldn’t, we won’t do it all the way, just let everything go.” I unzipped his pants, and let his member spring out of his briefs. My eyes widen as I look down at his thing, this boy is growing in every part of his body, I can’t believe that he’s this…

“Stop staring” Hyuk sulked, more like embarrassed, and he shouldn’t be, I should. Without moving my eyes away from him, I begun to undo my dress shirt painfully slow as my hips grind on him, and it shows on his eyes that it ticked him off.

He grabbed my waist “Let me do it” he whispered, and took my lips. His fingers moving skillfully fast, his lips traveled down to my neck down to my completely exposed torso. As his mouth and hands busy feeling up my chest and back, I unzipped my pants, exposing my leaking rock hard dick.

My finger touched the tip of his member, and I could feel the body under me shudder at my touch. My hands rubbing both of our members together, as he kept himself busy, nibbling at my skin and groping my ass. His gasps of air telling me hints of his good spots, now I know that he loves it when I tease his tip.

“Stop that, I can’t hold it if you keep doing that” I smirked at his desperate whimper.

“Oh? You mean like this?” my fingers teasing the slit of his dick as the tip if my fingers slightly dug in. He moaned in pleasure, the heavy breaths, and traces of wet saliva on my skin from his kisses felt so good. The more I tease him, the deeper his fingers dug into my flesh, and the feel of it is like a drug.

His lips started to kiss me all over again, trying to tease me back. I was handling him well, until his tongue licked one of my nipple. I felt my entire body tremble in pleasure, and a strong tingling sensation in my crotch. His wet, skillful tongue work around the bits of flesh in my chest and playfully bite it. My body jerked at the pressure of his teeth dug into my flesh. Fuck, it felt so good, his tongue felt so good it’s dangerously addictive.

“More, eat me up more Sanghyuk” I don’t care how embarrassing that line is, all my senses has been overcome with lust of his touch. His hands slipped into my pants, clenching hard at one of my cheeks as he pulled me closer.

His teeth biting my skin here and there, I felt like a prey that’s been eaten painfully slow, “Taekwoon, you’re beautiful, you’re absolutely breathtakingly beautiful you’re making me insane.” he breathed. My heart is about to explode at his words, and he called my name, he breathed out my name and called me beautiful. He’s not the only one going insane.

Our bodies rubbed and melted together, pulling each other closer in need to feel each other more as our lust grows. My hands jerk us off faster. I’m close, ah, I’m so close. My head leaned on top of him as I finally shoot my load along with him. Our body tensed as the liquids shoot out, I put my hand over our members so it won’t go all over the place. My hands are drenched in sticky slippery semen, it’s all over our members and some got onto our abs.

I leaned on top of his body, catching my breath while he rests his head on my shoulder. His warm breath on my skin, I never thought how comfortable it could feel. I kissed his temple and move away to find some tissue.

“Wah, it’s all over the place” he looked down on himself with a gasp. Ah there’s the kid in him, I chuckled.

“Yeah, why do you think I open up our suits?” I kissed the tip of his nose, because that button nose is begging me to do it.

I don’t know why I did that, or any of these, since we’re alone I didn’t resist anymore. I became this person that I never knew I had in me, all because I’m alone with him.

I grabbed the tissue behind the hand break and started to wipe my hands. He grabbed them also, and wipe my body first. He stares at my body too intensely, and the way his hands touched my skin didn’t help at all.

“Stop touching me like that” I sulked, his eyes looked up at me, and good heavens he’s handsome. His combed back blond hair, opened up suits, his torso exposed with cum on his abs, my cheeks feels warm, and it’s not just my cheeks that feels warm.

“What? I’m just touching” He smirked, knowing well he did it on purpose. I wiped his abs harshly as punishment, like washing a cloth at his washboard abs “Ow! Stop it that hurts!” I giggle at his pain, and secretly feeling up his abdomen.

He grabs my wrist and pulled me towards him. Our bare chests collide and he kissed my lips silent.  He let my wrist go and his hands wrapped around my back as he pulled me closer. His lips are so plump, I can’t stop nibbling on it.

We parted slightly, and I was about to continue kissing him after I took a breath “We should go back to the dorm” he breathed, I didn’t care and still kissed him, he didn’t reject me anyway.

“Why should we? We’re finally alone.” I whispered, and pressed my lips onto him again. I’m finally alone with him, I don’t want to let go this moment too quickly.

He grabbed my shoulder and pushed me slightly further, “It’s already late, and you have a schedule tomorrow, didn’t you?” oh, I forgot about that, I have a practice session for another musical.

Before I could reply to him, he already buttoned up my shirt, “You need to rest up well for tomorrow, I feel bad if you flop tomorrow because I asked you out” and he snickered. I playfully smack his shoulder, while helping him dressed up too.

“What are we going to tell the others?” I asked, “I already told Hakyeon and Wonshik about this” I continued, it’s not that I want to tell them, but they just notice and I had no choice but to explain.

Hyuk shrugged “Cool, I already told Hongbin too when I like you, and Jaehwan over hears us”, I nod away. After putting our suits back together, I went back to the driver’s seat and turn on the engine.

“Do you think that they already know we liked each other? I bet they talked behind our back about this.” I asked, and Hyuk shrugs yet again, “Maybe, that’ll make it easier for us too, just say we finally are a couple”

Couple. Oh my god. It is, isn’t it, me and Hyuk, we’re a couple, finally, is it really true?

“W-we’re a couple?” I blurt out, and Hyuk made a shocked face at me like he just saw something absolutely stupid, “Well isn’t that obvious? Do you not want to-”

“OF COURSE I WANT TO” I blurt out again, this is so embarrassing, making things official, it’s just embarrassing.

Hyuk laughed at my face, it was not a subtle laugh either. He went back to normal pretty quickly, and he held my hand “Well, will you be my boyfriend?” I whipped my head to him, and found his face already beet red, I bet it’s the same as mine.

“A-ah, it’s more embarrassing than I predicted” He stammer, and it made me laugh a little. His eyes looked up at me “Well? Do you want-” “YES I…. wanna be your… boyfriend” I stuttered as my voice grows weaker on each sentence.

This is it, we’re official. Our eyes locked on each other as we finally resolve everything. We both sigh in relieve, and smiled foolishly like an idiot.

“How come saying things like this is more embarrassing than jerking off together?” Hyuk snickered, I too, don’t know why.

“Maybe because it’s easier to expose our bodies than expose our hearts” I shrugged, and Hyuk kinda nodded along before chuckling like an idiot.

“What is that? It’s like a line that came out of a kdrama” he pointed at me as his laugh grow louder. I was flustered, I was really serious when I said that. I scowled and hit chest, but he caught my hand and pulled me into a hug.

“Sorry, you’re right, it’s not every day that we get to be honest with our feelings to each other.” And with that sentence, I was relieved back into calm. How did he even learn these words? Ah of course, he’s an adult now.

“But if it’s with you-” he paused, I withdraw from his embrace to look at him in the eyes, and they met mine, “No matter how embarrassing, I’ll say it, I’ll show how much I love you all this time” his face turned red, and it’s spreading onto me too.

How many more steps is he going to take ahead of me? How did he get so much courage? Then, it just dawned on me, he just said that he loves me all this time, it means that he loves me too? The burst of joy in my heart is wild, feeling so happy that it’s making my chest feels tight.

“Me too, from now on, I’ll be as brave as you” I ruffled his hair slightly and kissed his temple.

“Now, let’s go home.” I smiled and turn the steering wheel. As I drive I could feel his eyes were always on me, and made me restless all the way on the road.

At home, the dorm, we’ll be alone too since it’s late, we have all night on each other. Maybe just talk, or c-cuddle? I don’t know, imagining my life after all of this, with him, I can’t wait for what awaits us in the future.

 

Or so I thought.

 

“Congratulationss~~ congratulaaations~~~” four sleep deprived fools sing and dance while they are circling me and Hyuk. By the face of Hongbin’s uninterested face, Ken’s tired face, Wonshik’s closing eyes, and Hakyeon’s energetic dancing, it’s clear that Hakyeon is the one that made them do this.

“Why are we doing this, it’s not like it’s a surprise, we all know they’re gonna hook up sooner or later” Hongbin stopped and whined.

Hakyeon whipped an insulted face at the handsome boy “Hey! It’s tradition, embrace and respect the tradition binnie! We did it for Wonshikkie and Jaehwannie too, so it’s only fair that-”

“Yah! But we didn’t announce it at 3 fucking AM! This beautiful face needs it’s sleep!” Jaehwan yelled, completely losing it, and I stepped closer to Hyuk for protection, and a hand on my back made me feel calmer.

“Yea…. And it’s not like they made an announcement… it’s just that kkomae is back by himself… and…  they just came home together and we just assume…” Wonshik said almost too softly before drifting to sleep on and off.

They all went silent, like they just made a dumb mistake and their eyes are averted to us with a curious gaze. Hyuk’s and my eyes met each other before sighing at their idiocy. Our hands clasp together and we raise it up for them to see.

“We’re dating” we said almost in unison. Hakyeon’s face lit up, happiness beaming from his face so much that it scares me, Hongbin didn’t seemed surprised, and so does the rest of them.

“Con-gra-tu…laaaaations~~ Congratulations~~” Hakyeon started singing again, and the rest of them followed along afraid of the mother that will punish them if they didn’t. We also put up with it because of that. These idiots, but then again, these idiots are our family, and will be the strength for us to be together.

That night after the ‘celebration’ ended with all of them passing out except Hakyeon. Hongbin and Hakyeon roomed together for the ‘occasion’, and we didn’t complain at him for once.

I felt the utmost relieve and calmness as I felt his body near mine. How much have I imagined these nights, drifting off to sleep in each other’s arms. Despite me not really like touching other people, but with him, I just want to cling onto him for as much as I can. All these times, waiting him grow up, I’ve been holding myself back from touching him and now it’s paying off.

Back then, why I didn’t confess to him earlier, was not because I think that he was inferior to me. I just can’t muster the courage to tell him, that back then, he looked too cute and pure to be tainted by my hands. I felt guilty for always feeling that I desire the barely legal boy, and acted cold, and tough towards him. Who knows that he would’ve grown up like this, and swept my feet up from the floor and made me his instead.

I’m glad that I’ve fallen in love with him, I’m glad I held back. Most of all, I’m glad he was braver than me and reach out for me, I’m forever will be indebted to that.

Now, we are finally one, and we’ll pay back the times when we held back from each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Help, I don't know how to change my profile picture.............


	6. Replays : Extra Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The continuation of the aftermath from Replays

Jung Taekwoon, Aka Leo, a former member from a boy group called Vixx, found dead by suicide at his apartment at S District by the age of 27. The cause of death is bleeding out to death by slicing both of his wrist. His body was found by his former manager and his boyfriend, Shin Sung Rok, that went there to check up on him.

Jung Taekwoon have been missing from the media ever since his departure from Vixx. The cause of his departure is the hot rumor of him dating and doing sexual intercourse with Shin Sung Rok, a Musical Actor.

At the day of the funeral, only some of his family member mourn as his body sent down to earth. The other people that shows was his former boy group members and the people from his former company.

After the ceremony, Jung Taekwoon’s lawyer made public of his will :

All of my property will belong to my parents to do as they like, but if they don’t want it, give it to charity. All of the royalty from my composed song will go to Jellyfish ent.

For my fellow members of Vixx and all of my closest friends, I want them to know that I’m sorry. None of this is their fault, I choose this path myself. Cha Hakyeon, Lee Jaehwan, Kim Wonshik, Lee Hongbin, Han Sanghyuk, thank you for being my precious best friends, for being there for me and for supporting me no matter what. I wish all of you will keep on creating and making better and better performance for starlights. I don’t want everyone to blame themselves, please don’t mourn me for too long, because right now, I’m at peace. There is a song in my hard drive, it was my last song, I want the members to have it, but it is up to them whether to share it or not.

For my lover, I want you to let me go. I’m sorry to leave you, to not be strong enough. Forget me if you can, find another person to love. If you can’t, please be happy, you deserve that. You’ve done so much for me, you gave me all the love you got but I ran away, I’m really sorry. You deserve someone that can return the love you give, and that’s not me now.

Lastly, I want to be buried with the silver ring I’m wearing. I don’t want this ring to always remind my lover of me.

Jung Taekwoon

 

The tragedy has made the people of not only South Korea, but the world enraged. A lot of people support him and saddened by his suicide. Most people are raged by how Jung Taekwoon was treated because the choice of his lover that drove him to his suicide, but some still thinks that it was sinful and what Jung Taekwoon did is a right thing to do.

As for his lover, Shin Sungrok, have never made an appearance in the media until this day.

 

+++

 

Vixx is now one of the most successful group in the world, they’re in the top 3 of the popularity vote this year, nominated in almost all of the category and snatching more than half of the awards this year.

Vixx is celebrating their 10th anniversary as a boy group, they held an open concert for everyone to enjoy. They sing all the songs from their debut song to their recent song. In the middle of break, the host interview them and ask them the questions starlights ask for them.

“It’s Vixx 10th anniversary today, ommo, congratulations, I want to ask if there is a moment in your life that you can erase, when would it be? And why?? From chocobananalala, who will be answering this question?” The host is handing the mic to the members and Hakyeon stand up and grab it.

 “If it’s a moment that I can erase, so that it will never exist…” If it’s Hakyeon everyone knew that he will try to erase his azalea photos, or the black jajangmyun lips.

“I will erase the time when Taekwoon departed from Vixx” the whole crowd went silent, some of them awed and gasped.

“We may receive a lot of hate, and we might be treated not well, but we will fight together. We, with Taekwoon, we will support each other. If only that time I didn’t let him depart from VIXX, if only I was a little bit stubborn and brave, Taekwoon… he would still be here, won’t he?” Hakyeon burst into tears on stage.

The whole crowd still in silence, some sobbing in tears. Ravi crouch at the back, crying as well. Ken went over to Hakyeon and gave him a hug. Hyuk is in silent tears joined them, then Hongbin as well and Ravi.

The crowd awe, telling them things that’s too jumbled up to be heard.

“But we can’t change the past, we believe that any hardship that Leo hyung felt that we didn’t know is all lifted from his shoulder now.” Hongbin said in a cracked voice.

“Everyone, the next song will be a tribute to Leo, after 5 minute break, see you soon” Ken spoke over the microphone.

On the back stage, the members calm themselves down. Ravi still can’t stop crying, and so is Hyuk. What supposed to be a 5 minute break turned into a 10 minute break. After they’re all calm, they apologize for the late timing and perform a ballad. It was a song that Taekwoon gave them, it was his message to the world.

It does not contain hate, but about a deep love that he felt for everyone that is ever in his life. His parents, his friends, starlights, even though some of them loathe him, he thanked them for the happy memories they gave him.

‘Now, I will leave, taking all the bad memories with me, and all the good memories can stay and be remembered. I will leave but don’t be saddened, for I am at peace’ as Ken sung the last part and the whole crowd cheers.

The closing stage is heaven, and they went around the stage and being very close to starlights. After the concert is done, the 5 Vixx gather together and pray. They pray for their growth, to be thankful of their success, their company and their parents, and most of all, they pray for Taekwoon, and tell him not to worry, they will carry his good memories to share and reminded to the world.

“Watch over us Jung Taekwoon” they put their fingers together to form a starlight and leave a spot where Taekwoon’s finger would be.

Hakyeon exclaimed “Real V!” “V-I-X-X VIXX!!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments willl tottess be appreciatedd~~


	7. Airplanes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonshik is leaving without telling Hakyeon, of course Hakyeon found out, and boy does he has something to say.

“Why are you crying?” Wonshik stood there, baffled at the sight of his lover.

“Why? YOU tell me why! How dare you leave like this!” Hakyeon exploded, yet somehow managed to keep his voice minimal. Hakyeon took a deep breath and pat his tears away with the sleeve of his sweater.

They’re on the airport, the last thing they want in this goodbye is unnecessary attention.

“This is work Hakyeon, I must do this”

“I KNOW!” Hakyeon glared at the clueless man, as he snaps, he tried to keep his voice leveled.

“I know that, but you didn’t say anything to me, until Hyuk told me today, TODAY Kim Wonshik, and you’re leaving for 2 years!” the severity of this situation doesn’t seem to affect Wonshik the way it does for Hakyeon, and it pisses the hell out of the latter.

It pisses him so much that it made him cry; he cried because he’s pissed at himself. Hakyeon is a proud individual, he always thought that Wonshik is lucky to have someone as loving and sexy as him. Now he’s leaving just like that, like Hakyeon is nothing. Hakyeon hates it when he let himself love Wonshik more that Wonshik love him.

Two Years. Two years without Wonshik, without sudden back hug, without whines for attention, without his voice whispers of nothing. They won’t meet each other for that long time, how about valentines? New Years? Won’t Wonshik be lonely? Not at all? Then how low has Hakyeon worth to Wonshik this whole time?

Hakyeon’s face is brimming with anger, with a burning red face that evaporates his tears.

“I’m sorry” Wonshik whispered, and it sounded sincere that it melts almost all of his angers, almost.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Hakyeon crossed his arms, head up high in the air.

“I wouldn’t be able to leave if I told you”

The whole world feels like it came down on Hakyeon’s big head. The taller yet meek man in front of him is looking down in guilt. Hakeyon knew Wonshik was not that type of man, but Hakyeon was big headed, just a simple graze then he acts like he’s stabbed.

“I’ll comeback whenever I can. We will celebrate holidays together. I’ll call you every day if I can, we’ll video chat.” Wonshik added. Of course he would, how could Hakyeon doubt it even a second of that.

Wonshik has always been sweet, too sweet and loving sometimes Hakyeon was doubtful if he deserved it sometimes.

When the sweet man suddenly left coldly without warning, Hakyeon was scared shitless, thinking the blissful loving man finally decides to leave him. Those fearful thinking, because of his pride, turned into anger, and he just blamed it all to Wonshik.

They both sighed “I’m sorry” and both of them said simultaneously.

It was the first time Hakyeon said sorry to Wonshik, and he was surprised and somehow pleased.

While Hakyeon was sick hearing Wonshik he’s sorry all the time. He can’t do anything about it though, Wonshik has always been like that.

He loves his job, he also loves Hakyeon, he’s only human, and sometimes he can’t keep the two in balance. He can’t say sorry to his job, he can if he could, or if it’s a person.

Hakyeon understand that, deep down he does, but he’s always acting like a childish brat that starves for attention.

Wonshik took one of his earrings and gave it to Hakyeon, which he accepts without knowing what the gesture means.

Until he knew what this earing is, “This is your favorite right? The one you buy with your first earned money” Hakyeon stared at the simple ring earring, thin, just as small as your pinky finger.

It’s dull and definitely outdated, but like Hakyeon said, it held precious memories.

“Yes, until I came back, I leave a piece of me with you”

Hakyeon feels like there’s a loud thud on his chest, again, Wonshik said such sweet things. Before Hakyeon could say anything, Wonshik planted his lips on Hakyeon’s temple into a soft peck.

Hakyeon could feel his cheeks heating up, like wild fire then it spreads to all over his body.

“Wonshik… there’s people here…” Hakyeon glancing sideways, wary of anyone spotting them, but there’s only a few people there minding their own business.

“I don’t care, I never cared about that don’t I? I love you, that’s what I cared about, and I’ll show it to you no matter where and when.” Wonshik grabbing his lover’s shoulder tight, meeting eye to eye as they share silent gazes.

The speaker boomed its signature chime, “Your Attention please, this is the final boarding call for passengers Kim Wonshik on flight 374W to London. Please proceed to gate 3 immediately. The final checks are being completed and the captain will order for the doors of the aircraft to close in approximately five minutes time. I repeat. This is the final boarding call for Kim Wonshik. Thank you.” And the bell chimes again, Ding dong ding dong.

Wonshik smiled at Hakyeon’s pouting face and patted his soft hair.

“This is not a goodbye Hakyeon, I’ll see you on christmas” Wonshik chuckled, yet Hakyeon could tell he’s as hurt as him in this momentary separation.

That’s why Wonshik won’t tell him, because moments like this does hurt, and that Wonshik was afraid that his judgement would falter.

You’re wrong Kim Wonshik, Hakyeon thought. Hakyeon might be selfish, but Wonshik’s dream is his dream too. Though how he acts contradicts his thoughts, Hakyeon is happy right now that Wonshik gets to be in a music project half way across the world.

Wonshik disappeared behind the gate, he occasionally looks back, and Hakyeon just, waved.

He waited till the airplane fly to the air, carrying half of his heart far away. His heart longing more and more as the airplane grows smaller and disappeared behind the clouds. Though the airplane has taken his love away, he knew it will bring him back.

 

Until that day, he could only pray that the plane in the sky will fly his love to him safely back to his arms soon.

 

+++++++

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ye, I was inspired by Ikon's Airplane, its sad and rnb, i'm weak with those types of songs...........
> 
> but that's it for the short stories, now that's this done, onto the next book! ChanyeolxTaekwoon fanfic called "He who has everything"  
> (Yea my titles are long)


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